The ugly truth about dating and relationships

Getting to the stage where you and your new squeeze are finally exclusive (or dating steadily) has its obstacles. The very first being to find a suitable candidate, then having to vie for his/her attention, fighting off the other interested parties, keeping the attention focused and making time to get alone time.

This morning on my way to work one of the local radio stations had a call-in about: "do you trust your partner?". The callers that I heard were women and they seemed to think that it is acceptable to have that nagging feeling that he is up to no good the whole time while he is out of sight. Which is really sad.

Now at the stage of your relationship where the shine of it all has somewhat worn off and you actually do go out without your squeeze - there is always the possibility that some new toy will catch your squeeze's eye. You could now run screaming to a private investigator and frantically trying to access his email and sms messages - or you could stay calm and not become a paranoid freak that will anyway drive your squeeze away.

In the event of your squeeze doing the unacceptable - you will have to make the choice (a) cut them loose (b) scare the living crap out of him/her. If the problem persists (after choosing b) - get that damn third party in a public place with a loud confrontation. Everybody would like to know the scarlet letter wearing, cheap gigolo/whore that cannot keep their knickers on when in the company of decent people.

Long distance relationships

The hardest relationship to maintain is a long distance relationship - I know, I tried it once.

Scenario:
Guy dates girl in home country; Visits every 3 months; Telephonic contact weekly; Email contact daily; Girl has admirers and an ex boyfriend that regularly phones;

How to handle the situation:
a) Give her space and don't start a fight about it and
b) you may be seen as not caring enough
c) Or put it out there and
d) push her right back into the ex's waiting arms

Dating Advice?

Anyone have any objections if I convert this blog into a dating advice site (since I no longer date and almost being a married woman)?

Setting up house together

It is official, we have bought a house together and moved in. We are now co-owners of a beautiful penthouse in the suburbs.

We still have some unsorted boxes, but I am hoping to get to them between Christmas and New Year.

We are getting married in less than 3 months... and I can't wait for my week on the beach for the wedding. It is going to be awesome! Think beach, beach, beach.... aaah....

So anyway, happy merriness and all that jazz.

3 lazy bums in bed

Today the 3 of us (The Genie, The Leprechaun and me) only got out of bed at 11am. I think it is an all-time record for us.


We usually get out of house by 10pm (take into account that we get up an hour before leaving)... anyway... no more late night movie watching :)

Will a relationship last across a cultural divide?

This is a pretty tough question to answer especially since my busted relationships were always with people from the same (sorta) cultural backgrounds as me.

I guess it all depends on what is important to you and just how much you are willing to compromise.

In my current relationship:

• He is English (obviously, being a Leprechaun and all)
• but he understands my language

• He is allergic to cats
• but after 2 years he has conversations (just like me) with the cat

• I really never liked spending too much time with parentals
• but I like his and don't mind seeing them (besides... I like Leprechauns)

• I really hate cooking
• but I cook for him - sometimes

• We make decisions together
• but also have things we do apart

What is important in a relationship and how do you know if it will work for you?

• Can you see yourself becoming part of a team?
  
• Does he/she take your interests/likes/dislikes into consideration before planning something?
• Do you like his/her skew nose/mouth or teeth - or can you stand that weird laugh?
• Do you feel special after the newness wore off?
  

I can't believe I fell in love with a Leprechaun

... words straight from the uber romantic movie, PS. I love you.

I really can't believe that I just happened to find my own Leprechaun on African soil and just happened to fall in love with him. Yep. I'm damn lucky.

I've heard it so many times that obviously I will be doing a post about the question - "Does marriages/relationships across cultural borders work?"... but that is in my next post :)

6 months people - then I get married and become Mrs Deysel-Leprechaun. Pretty cool.

Coo-eeee

I know, I have been dead quiet for a whole month and a bit – but this time I have a really good excuse. I went to boot camp for a whole month after work. I ran my legs into serious knee injuries and ran further still until the last night when I finally killed a quad muscle too.

It has been a week and I’m still at the chiro and doing my hot pack/cold pack routine. I miss boot camp.

What is new in the life of the Leprechaun and Suzy? Well, the Leprechaun and I are getting married in 6.5 months on the beach. We have signed some nice papers and may have some great news soon. We’ve also decided to get rid of a lot of stuff so I will still sort through my stuff.

I’m also noticing that Mr Genie is really starting to get old. I’m suspecting he is losing his sense of smell. My kitty better not get old on me...

The men in my life

Last night something really hilarious happened, but let me give a little background information...

My extra large kitten sleeps on the bed. He takes more than a quarter of the bed – leaving me with a quarter.

Last night the Leprechaun put the kitten in his kitty Igloo and boing... out is kitty. He jumped straight onto my chest and first stood there for a good scratch. I think the Kitty tattle-taled on Mr Leprechaun for throwing him off the bed!

Dating questions answered

So many questions, so little time! I love getting questions... so keep ‘em coming!

• Where did you meet your fiance? Was it related to the internet dating or like so many comments I read you need to meet someone in your social circle? Does internet dating work?

We used to work together about 5 years ago – but back then I ignored him as he was a real player and I really wasn’t about to become a number. Then one sunny day (almost 2 years ago) he contacted me via Facebook and we went on our first date (ever) – it took him about 2 weeks to ask me out though. The rest, well, is history.

Social circle... what if there are no eligible guys in your social circle. In my case the guys were either (a) short (b) was dating my friends (c) bored me to tears. Then there is also the little problem of if you date someone in your social circle and you have a nasty break-up... then you most probably will bump into him/her more often than someone from outside your friends’ group.

• Did dating a whole lot of people make you good at dating and being more sociable? Maybe give you the confidence to put yourself out there?

I don’t think you’ll ever think of dating as recreational again after going on so many dates, but it also has its upsides. You get to meet people and learn to pick up on things that you dislike faster (saving the both of you a lot of time). It also helps you to become a great conversationalist that can get a "dating interview" started.

It never is easy to just put yourself out there – it never was easy for me, that is why I chose to go the online dating route. Apparently I never noticed when guys flirted with me in person (at clubs, bars, etc) either – I guess they felt rejected and decided to not walk up to me to actually talk to me!

• Did you ever remain friends with some of the guys on the dating web sites or was it pretty much 'let just be friends = dont call me again' - i.e. Can you use internet dating to meet friends?

I definitely met quite a few great guys while being an online dater. Some I really didn’t have anything in common with others were great friend material. I still chat to 2 or 3 of them – never really see them anymore as they are hitched now. I do however still get great tips from them about awesome restaurants!

In the end it doesn’t really matter where you meet your next (or last) boyfriend/girlfriend. The only thing that matters is that you meet the one that makes you happy.