The men in my life

Last night something really hilarious happened, but let me give a little background information...

My extra large kitten sleeps on the bed. He takes more than a quarter of the bed – leaving me with a quarter.

Last night the Leprechaun put the kitten in his kitty Igloo and boing... out is kitty. He jumped straight onto my chest and first stood there for a good scratch. I think the Kitty tattle-taled on Mr Leprechaun for throwing him off the bed!

The Getaway

It really is great to be in a relationship with someone like my Leprechaun. Not only doesn't he nag (like some men do) when I want to shop a little; nor does he complain too much that I wake at 6am and by 7am wake him to get ready for the beach; and spends the whole day on the beach; and have the little romantic streak to take me for those tedious beach strolls (I know, it is not easy walking on beach sand)...

So anyway, my pearl of wisdom for the day (now that I am 30...)

Dating someone that does not share your interests will make it a little harder to spend quality time together. You may be so different that between work and hobbies you only get to spend an hour a day together before going to bed.

Catch and Release

I watched Catch & Release this weekend. A real tear jerker - but with a good lesson (or 2).

Summary:

The groom drives off for his bachelor's weekend and dies. His funeral then takes place on their wedding day. The bride-to-be/widow
then finds herself in the midst of lots of drama ie. Mom-in-law asks for the family heirloom on her finger and a possible child that her departed beloved supported.


Facts:

• Women tend to rely on their boyfriends/fiances/husbands too much and then something happens and they suddenly have to get up and take control.
• Women tend to trust too easily and are always the last to know about affairs.
• Some women too easily let their bf/fiances take the lead in the relationship - when this ends the woman is left to drown in normal life.
  

The Lessons:

• If you live with a guy (and depend on his share of the rent etc) then you need to have a signed contract/agreement.
• Never just trust your partner blindly, but don't be completely psycho about his getaway weekends.
• Get your will done if you intend on getting married but put a clause in that says this part only kicks in when you are married etc. (In the event of you procrastinating with your will in future.)
• Make sure you can afford to maintain a lifestyle and home even if it is just for a few months after a break-up/death - just until you can get a new roommate or move to something cheaper.

As always, keep on dating and have fun!

When you and the neighbours are a part of eachother's lives

I live in the middle of 2 interesting male neighbours. On the one side I have a recently single 26 year old and on the other a gay couple.

I have seen how my straight neighbour found a girl, got serious and now... go single on his Facebook profile.

My gay neighbours have been dating for about 3 or 4 months. (I must admit that I've probably become closer to them since they have 2 adorable kittens.) They have had their ups and downs, but have worked through it. Today was also a very important day for one of them. The other one is always there - supporting him, even through this.

I sometimes wonder why people can't see how the same gay and lesbian love is. It is a beautiful thing to see people grow so close and support eachother.

Meeting the PARENTS...

Meeting the parents is a big step. A huge big scary step (for me). This time however... it was actually fine.

C*'s parents are really nice. (I do have to mention their foreign accents do sometimes make them sound like aliens.) I have been to dinner twice now - and even met the brother.

Unfortunately for C* he had to spent a whole weekend with my family for my school reunion. All the feedback from my family was really good - so I think C* is a keeper.

The next step... meeting all the friends...

A recipe for love

Ingredients:

C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N
Talk about stuff. Your life, work, childhood - as long as you talk.

Attention. Attention. Attention.
Yes, you will have to pay copious amounts of attention to eachother.

Activities TOGETHER.
Movies, talk, picnics etc.
Spending time together will either cement a bond or drive you apart very quickly.

The all important HONESTY factor.
If something your new love does drives you insane... address the issue.
If you're not in the mood to see your love interest - speak out.

Method:
Mix all ingredients together and pay attention.

What is sexier than a man in a kitchen?

I cannot stress enough that a man in the kitchen is sexy. They always look so adorable in an apron and with that smile they have when they know that you are watching.

Tales of men in kitchens:

A previous ex I dated was a messy cook. Whenever he cooked – he used to dirty up the whole kitchen. I could never understand why… until one day I realized that maybe it was because he knew that somebody would clean it up.

One of the more unsuccessful kitchen gods and I tried to make a milktart… unfortunately neither of us have ever done the tart thing before. Needless to say… the tart didn’t look all that well and neither one of us wanted to be the guinea pig to taste it.

I think the best cook I have ever dated was the Italian. Italians make great pasta. I love pasta – what can I say. Unfortunately I liked his pasta more than I him.

Once I started seeing a chef – but the weird thing is… he never cooked for me. I wonder why.

When the guy you thought is Mr Right, is not interested

You all know about this feeling called “rejection”. It sucks when a guy is not interested in you in that way. It hurts even more when he makes a date to see you and months later you are still hoping that he will actually pitch for date number 64.

I met this guy one night very late after a clubbing night. When I first lay eyes on him my heart missed a beat. The first time he kissed me, my heart stopped for a few minutes. Unfortunately since then I’ve only spoken to him via email and chat. I’ve made a few attempts to see him again, but… he always seem to be working.

I guess it’s time to realise that he is just not that into me, else I might get that feeling of “not being worth it” – and that would be totally untrue.

Date 13: The Quiet One

A quick drink at a local Keg is just the thing to be able to realx and have a nice little conversation with a complete stranger you meet off the internet - right? WRONG! I tried the normal chit chat - it didn't work. Then I tried the obligatory... what do you do when you're not at work - that didn't work. Then I tried to finish my drink and get out of there pronto!

The Explanation
The best part of meeting new people this often is that you know exactly what you want... and don't want.

The Verdict
Maybe like never!

Date 12: The Coffee Date (English Guy)

Met Mr Coffee Date after work for a quick... coffee. I felt uncomfortable the whole 20 minutes. Things just didn't click - we had nothing in common that we felt comfortable exploring

The Explanation:
Dates where no talking occurs are usually not all that great.

The Vedict:
This was a absolute disaster (according to me).

Dating continued (Dates 5 - 9)

Date 5 and 6: Mr Pet Owner (English/Afrikaans Guy)
Finally, a guy that owns a cat! We went for drinks. He seemed fine – so I’ll probably go on a lunch date with him.
Lunch was great – if you didn’t count the number of times that the silence got too much! Sigh, and I thought he was a possibility!

The Explanation:
We had little in common. Actually we had only our cats in common.

The Verdict:
No. Maybe the cats could go on a play date.

Date 7: Mr Selfish Lawyer (English/Afrikaans Guy)

I, I, I, I,… two hours of torture. I tried to escape, but I guess that everybody else had tried escaping his monotonous

The Explanation:
I still thought I was prettier than him.

The Verdict:
zzzzzzzzz

Date 8: The Playboy (English Guy)

I met this really hunky guy at a cocktail bar in Rivonia. We hit it off immediately. We even set up a second date.
The second date was terrible. He pitched up late (strike 1) he was tipsy (strike 2) he got fresh the minute he walked in the door (strike 3) and then he was outta there.
2 years later he contacted me to see if I’m still unattached. Poor guy.

The Explanation:
Looks doesn’t make the guy. Get that? He was pretty and not ruled by his brain. I want more than The Playboy.

The Verdict:
Yeah, that was not fun.

Date 9: Mr Co-Worker (Afrikaans Guy)

You’ve all had that guy that works with you that has a crush on you – right? The guy that asks you out a million times in 2 years…

We’ve been friends for awhile so I thought I could convince him that it’s normal to rather want to be my friend – so I accepted an invite for coffee after work.
After all the chit chat about daily things I got asked the question that I was really dreading. “So, why don’t we try the dating thing?” That question meant the end of our friendship – I had to say no.

The next day I received an email from him saying he wasn’t relationship material! Big surprise.

The Explanation:
Friends are so much more important than a boyfriend and if a friend can’t hear what you are saying, then he isn’t a friend.
The worst was that he let his bruised ego end a perfectly good friendship.

The Verdict:
I’m sorry I lost a friend, but not that I wouldn’t date him.

How do you know if your offline date was successful?

How do you know that the great date you thought you just had was really successful?

During the date:
• You had lots to talk about.
• He paid attention to what you said.
• Both of you flirted. (hopefully with eachother)
• He remembered that you had this funny line on your profile.

At the end of the date:
• Did he walk you to your car?
• Did he ask if he could see you again?
• Did you have a smile on your face?
• Did he have a smile on his face?

Whatever you do – don’t kiss him or shake hands, rather just touch his arm for a second too long and smile. That is the best advice anyone can give you – promise. I have used this a million times - he’ll love that you touched him and wonder what it would be like kissing you.

In the next 24 hours:
• Did he email/ sms / call you to say thank you for the date?

Mr Perfect – is he just socially inept or too busy?

Is my Mr Perfect socially inept? Why would he be online? Is it a "modern times" believe that the best people hang out online? Is he just bored at work or too busy to go out?

Why would we feel that we could meet our soul mates online?

So if you had to weed out 99% of the men that you meet online… why not just meet him at a club or through mutual friends? Surely Mr Perfect has friends?

Serial Dating Blunders (Part 2)

Scenario 3: Mr Wrong On All Levels
This is a legendary tale that a whole lot of people would love to erase from their memory.
My cousin was set up on this blind date by a friend of hers. The friend apparently met this guy on a sms flirt thing – and she thought this guy was so fantastic and she just had to introduce him.

Poor cousin eventually said yes to this fateful date but with the understanding that it would happen in a public place with me and a friend. The day finally arrived and the guy pitched up…

Imagine this… short guy walking under an umbrella; his buttocks protruding to such an extent that his height might’ve been equal to that.
We ordered alcoholic beverages to try soften the extreme shock of this guy’s appearance. We ordered more drinks to try and survive the torture of his incessant bragging.

At the end of the date my (by now half-irritated, half-furious) cousin informed the guy that she is NOT interested. Then he turned around and asked if he could have my number. Needless to say… we will never forget BubbleBum.

Scenario 4: Mr I Still Live @ Home (and I’m over 25)
On paper, apparently, everyone seems normal. On a coffee date almost every guy gets a 0 for communication skills due to the fact that they never had to let go of the apron strings!

I met one of these creatures. He was 26, living at home and had no social skills.
Also, the picture that was on his profile… must’ve been taken in his teens – before he lost 60% of his hair!

Needless to say – this was a dud date.

Date 4: Dating The Ex from 7 years ago (Afrikaans Guy)

I dated this guy back in 2000. I really liked him – everything about him. It didn’t work, but let’s just say my heart was broken.

Non-date at the movies. Coffee at my place. We talked and ended up kissing.

The Explanation:
We both still had feelings for each other. Unfortunately we don’t want the same things right now. I won’t contact him again – this should be his decision.

I guess it will always be a dicey affair to go on a date with an ex, but to see him again was really fantastic.

The Verdict:
I would’ve really liked to date this guy (again).

Date 3: Mr Short Term (English Guy)

This guy is really cute, actually he is perfect. He is on time for the date, has flowers, treats the waiter ok – did I mention we have so much in common?
Unfortunately the more I ask personal questions, the more I get the wrong answers.

The Explanation:
He is fun and has a serious relationship with his career and lifestyle. Unfortunately he is NOT dating material. No, you cannot see where it goes or try to change his mind. You are setting yourself up for heartache.

The Verdict:
No.

Date XXX: The 36 Hour Date (English Guy)

The second date, 19:00 on a Friday night, DVDs at my place. The invite said: “strictly as friends”.

So, the date went well. We stayed up talking and fell asleep on the lounge floor. We woke up later and realized… he never went home, but I’m ok with it. He leaves, but makes a breakfast date. We go for breakfast. We spend the rest of the day talking.

The Explanation:
The date went really well but nothing more than talking and maybe a kiss at the end. You have a choice on how to take this further.
1. get to know him and keep it at kissing
2. jump right in and date him/sleep with him (not recommended)

The Verdict:
Would like to get to know him first.

Serial Dating Blunders (Part 1)

We all get them – the duds of the dating world. Your worst nightmare, to be stuck at a table for an hour and no escape without being rude. My advice – ditch the dud! If you have to escape through the kitchen door or bathroom window – do it! The phone call trick does not work anymore – these duds know these tricks!

Scenario 1: Mr I Lied About My Height (English Guy)
He gets out of his car… is he still not standing upright? Why is his head barely visible above the car? He said 1.70 – 1.78… but he is more like 1.60! I know I mentioned I’m tall and I like wearing heels. Maybe I neglected mentioning that I’m tall like an Amazon Warrior!

Ok, fine, maybe we can be friends so lets have a glass of wine and chat.
Argh! The whole 2 hours he tried to play footsie. He nearly ruined my sandals!

Scenario 2: Mr “Smooth” Operator (Afrikaans Guy)
I’ll admit this upfront. My worst dating experiences have always been with Afrikaans guys – and I’m Afrikaans.

The date started out ok… for the first hour or so it was ok. Nice restaurant close to home; Escape routes are everywhere – or so I thought.
Maybe the second glass of wine got to him – maybe it was just his true colors or maybe he is a pervert trying to get his claws into me.

Step 3: Re-evaluate your favourites (on the dating website)

Two dates and 400 emails later you have to evaluate the guys you are emailing. Axe the ones you don't like the pictures of or that wrote an email that irritated you. (You should be able to axe a few that are time-wasters)

Remember you don't have to explain your decision. You paid good money for this service, it is yours to use (to your benefit)!

Now you should have lots of fans and about 30 favourites.
Read your favourites' profiles. Send the cute ones an email.
Sit back and wait for the emails to arrive.

Your Competition (Part 1)

The Golddigger
This specimen is the worst of them all. She will lie. She will sleep with anyone that has more money than her. She will never let go if she has her clutches in your man. Avoid these creatures! Tar and feather them - show no mercy.

Miss Super Sweet Sexy Flirty
Sigh. If you happen to go up against this one you will need to use every trick in the book. She has it all. The easy-going flirtiness oozes out of her. She probably has a look she gives guys that drives them crazy.

Miss Over-easy
Do I need to explain this one? She'll spread 'em. She'll get down and nasty in 5 minutes flat. Guys use her and forgets about her.

Miss I'm-so-loud
Every guy's best friend. She's loud and proud. She is also a shrewd little bitch that'll stab you in the back with a smile on her face.

Miss Bootylicious
She shows more skin than you have on your entire body. Her boobs are huge and in your face. It's ok, most men prefer to be able to hold 'em, so her watermelons may not have the effect she had hoped for.

Miss Natural Beauty
She doesn't look like a doll - but she has the X-factor. She has a beautiful smile; sparkling eyes; hour-glass figure; great hair;
The worst of it all, she is unaware of her beauty.
1 in a million women fall into this category, but they are super hard to beat. Guys love them. They can take her to the rugby or to a ball. She stands out from those that have to spend hours trying to look like her.

The Airhead Doll
Guys love this one. They date 'em, but never marry 'em.