Repeating the mistakes of the past - or the fear thereof

I have an admirer. He phones me daily, he emails me, he Gtalks me - and sometimes I just want it to stop. I just want to be able to not have to explain where I've been or what I've been doing or why I won't be online tonight. I don't want to have to explain that I'm not in a good mood either and that it's not because I have pms - it's just because.

I know that I sound selfish. I really don't care. I'm not involved and I seriously cannot be expected to act as if I'm involved.

I have done this before where I've just given in to a guy that came on too strong and ended up dating him for 3 years. 3 miserable years. I'm not doing it again.

The two steps back syndrome

I'm at a stage right now that whenever someone gets too close I feel like I'm suffocating. I have these horrible flashbacks of the relationship that I was in and I choke. I literally see myself being wrapped up and placed right back in the display case and I just can't do it. I can't.

I know, some day I'm going to have to get over my fear of dating the wrong guy again... but in the meanwhile I just need to breathe.