Sunday, July 29, 2007

The truth is...

Men are scared to talk to me. That is the truth. I don't know if its because I'm always with friends or if it looks like I'm unfriendly...

On a girl's weekend away we went clubbing in Brits. So, there are a lot of single men - so one might expect that these men would at least try to talk to you and not just check you out...like everybody seemed to be doing.

As I was walking to the bar, apparently this guy checked me out head to toe (from behind) and as my friend saw this she encouraged him to ask me to dance. As I came back from the bar the guy stepped in front of me and introduced himself.

The only problem I had with the guy was that he thought that he could have his hands on me within 5 mins of meeting me. Yes, I do understand that a guy might find me attractive and would love to have his hands around my middle, but lets just say this guys - I'm not just any girl. I like my personal space and for you to be allowed into that space may take a lo......ng time.

2 comments:

Richard Catto said...

So, I'm going to assume that sex on the first date is out of the question then?

Second date?

Anonymous said...

Some guys, especially in clubs, are just looking for brief physical encounters, not relationships (necessarily, unless they perchance happen upon someone special). Some women likewise. Now the guy must try figure out which women in the club might "go home with him" and sort them from those that don't, with little clues available. So realise that the only way for him to know what to expect from a woman is to do what he did, try "feel you out" (figuratively ;) - no pun intended), and if you aren't interested you'll wander off and he can either sulk or go look for someone who is. He may try his luck once or twice more, in case the apparent status has changed as the evening progresses (which happens) ... that's just part of the pick-up game which happens in clubs, he didn't "think" he could feel you up in 5 minutes of meeting you, he was trying to *find out if* he could feel you up (only way to know is to try, you can't ASK these things, the 'rules' of the 'game' forbid that) ... you can't really expect a stranger to automatically know that you're only interested in a real relationship (or alternatively that you weren't interested in him) ... no doubt in some way you let him know ultimately. Not all guys are like this, but the types of guys who make advances in clubs tend to be.

I suggest if you do want to try meet someone more 'decent' in a club (it is possible), then avoid the bold ones who come on to you directly (they're the players), and play a slightly more "active" role in seeking out someone who looks potentially decent ... then get *them* to approach you and start up a conversation ... doesn't mean be a slut, you can do this in a subtle way that makes it look like he initiated the conversation (and I don't mean with the aim of picking him up for the night ... there are "serious" guys out there, but the problem is they're less likely to just approach a stranger in a club). And if he doesn't look interesting still, drop it anyway. The goal is to ultimately meet someone decent, so why not?